Couldn't make it to Jconnect's Yom Kippur Services this year? No problem, JGirl's continues her account of the High Holiday Services below. Check it out!

So, when we last spoke, I was trying to sort through some serious questions (fourteen, to be exact) for which I really had no answers. The “annual review” that is Rosh Hashanah was a rude awakening for me, and trust me, it’s going to take a lot more than the “ten days of repentance” to solve my problems! The reality is – it’s going to take me at least a year, or maybe several years. I have quite a bit of soul-searching to do.

I know I’m not alone. Like many of you, I’m at a point in my life where I have hit a plateau and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m at a “do-or-die” point personally, and until I answer some very important questions about myself and my foundation, I’m incapable of making good decisions. At the same time, I can’t try to answer fourteen “life-changing” questions or overhaul my life in ten days. It takes time.

What I CAN do, though, is start to move through some of them. I can keep them on hand and approach each dilemma, one step at a time.

I didn’t want to go into Yom Kippur in a panic, however, and one thing I learned this time around is that Yom Kippur isn’t about just suffering and atonement. It’s about those things to some degree, yes, but it’s really about letting unnecessary things fall away in order to focus on the purest form of our selves. Without any external factors or cumbersome restrictions (i.e. nourishment, outward appearances, work, etc) we are supposed to examine what’s really in there. We are supposed to look inside, experience our souls with a magnifying glass, and cleanse our spirits.

Achieving that takes work. Finding answers to the questions I am currently struggling with is going to take work. But at the end it will be joy.

I didn’t know the meaning of all the prayers (c’mon, I’m a once-a-year Jew), but at the end of the day, I just stood there and took it all in and realized that to some degree I’m going to have to leave some thing up to G-d (it’s that whole “giving yourself over to the Universe” thing). To some degree He knows what’s going to happen, but in the meantime I have the power to change certain things. And I figured out at least three:

I want to spend considerably more time than I have in the past learning about Judaism, because I’m tired of doing stuff and not knowing why I’m doing it. Judaism is in my heart, so I’m going to have to learn more about it. I want to find a partner (don’t I say that every year?). I want to take better care of myself and my body.

So how about that? Three things. Maybe these things are too corny or too obvious, but I don’t think so. Focusing on the pieces is the way to improve the whole human being, right?

As this happened, services ended and the shofar was blown. And everyone started to celebrate. What were they celebrating? Clarity like I had just gotten? Themselves? Other people? Who knows?

Immediately afterwards, everyone went to a community-wide Break Fast in the area. There were just SO many young people. After a very trying 24 hours, everyone was there, celebrating and socializing and basking in the glow of the Jewish spirit.

Does that sound totally lame? It’s totally true – I can’t help it. This “once-a-year” Jew was completely overwhelmed with emotion, and joy, and for the first time in quite awhile – a whole lot of clarity. Sigh.

Until Next Time,
JGirl

Couldn't make it to Jconnect's Rosh Hashana Services this year? No problem, JGirl's got her account of the events below. Check it out!

I’m kind of one of those “once-a-year” Jews. I know that sounds really bad, but A: I know I’m not alone, and B: I attend a lot of Jewish events and parties – and I go to Shabbat every so often. I’m just not huge on services.

I figured it would be another ho-hum year at services for Rosh Hashanah and I wasn’t really in the mood for it. There’s been a lot of clutter in my head lately and I found it hard to concentrate.

The Rabbi mentioned that we didn’t have to follow the prayer book to a “t,” and it was okay to sort of fall behind into one’s own meaningful prayer zone, so I started reading the Rosh Hashanah supplement. What I found were 14 questions that I was incapable of answering. These weren’t totally complex questions. They were the kind of “simple” ones that people normally glaze over and don’t really want to think about, because they’re difficult, soul-searching questions.

Stuff like, “When do I feel that my life is most meaningful?” And, “What would bring me more happiness than anything in the world?” (Um, I don’t know. I’m a single girl living in Los Angeles and I’m starting to get tired of the rat-race.) See? Tough to answer. It’s tough and frightening to dig that deeply and really think about if or when I feel fulfilled, because right now the truth is that I am unfulfilled.

Is Judaism going to be the answer for me? In many ways, yes it will, but not in an obvious “must-go-to-services” kind of way. For me it is going to have to be a little more practical. Is this a little lazy of me? Maybe. I love Judaism, but I am looking for a middle ground right now.

I started reading some more of the questions. “What is the most important decision I need to make this year”? (I….don’t….know!)

“If I knew I could not fail, what would I undertake in my life?”

“If I could change one thing about my spiritual life, what would that be?”

Aha! I had to pause for a deep breath and a thought on this one.

I started listening to what was around me. I heard beautiful melodies; I heard men and women singing together. I heard some children playing outside. I got out of my own head for a bit and really just allowed myself to focus and feel the community around me. On a really simple level, I just sat there and breathed, thanking G-d that I’m a part of this – and I felt less alone.

What does this all mean? What do all these questions and goals mean to me? I’m not sure, but something obviously happened when I engaged in a little bit of prayer around so many others. Regardless of what I believe in or don’t believe in, the experience of community and the knowledge that around the world, thousands of Jews were literally right there with me in prayer - is what mattered to me in that moment.

That’s enough to make me want to stick around a little and learn some more about my own spirituality (whatever that may end up being) – and about Judaism. Even for people like me (once-a-year-Jews), Judaism has so many layers and so much beauty.

It’s abundantly clear that I have a lot of introspective work to do. There will be some questions I’ll need to try and answer over next several days but for now, I’m just going to enjoy the community and let it be uncomplicated.

More to come after Yom Kippur.

L’Shana Tova,
JGirl

Hey all!

Hope you had a great time at the Tu B'Av celebration! It was HUGE!! At final count, there were nearly 350 people in attendance! If you were one of the fortunate ones who were there, thanks for making it such a wonderful event.

Well, without further ado, here's our very own JGirl's breakdown of Love Fest '08:

What’s up, party people? Greetings from the front lines of a big & Jew-cy JconnectLA bash. Love Fest, people. Love Fest!

Thursday was Tu’B’Av, or as we know it, another great day for a SWEET Jewish party! This one was a big one. There’s always next year, but in case you’re interested, here’s what you missed:

Tu B’Av comes right after Tisha B’Av (9th of Av), which commemorates the destruction of the Temple and is a profoundly sad day. The 9th of Av is a time for reflection on the profound tragedies Jews have faced throughout history.

Tu B’Av, on the other hand, is about unity and healing – and the re-building of the Temple and the Jewish nation. We’ve weathered extreme adversity – but we always mend and come back to one another, thus building our community – our “Temple.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I think that’s hot. And it’s a damn good reason to throw a massive celebration! (As an aside, did you guys know that people get married on Tu’B’Av all the time? Michal was in a wedding dress! You’ll have to ask her personally if you want to know why.)

Lots going on, but from what I remember after a few drinks, each room had something different. My personal favorite of course was the room with the food. Let me justify that by mentioning the abundance of sweets and chocolate in said room. Yum! There was a dance room featuring a comedian and some bands, namely Moshav (peeps – do you realize how awesome Moshav is? They have groupies!).

Outside, there was the Heebster marketplace - an area with some cool Jewy stuff – jewelry, clothes, info on Israel trips for thirtysomethings, and some pretty racy t-shirts. I think “Shalom Mother* (you finish the rest)” was a big hit though. I saw lots of people buying it. I bought my boss the one with a picture of a piggy on it. He’s a Jew who likes his bacon.

But I’ve digressed a bit – back to the “community” bit I had mentioned. There was this girl who just came out with a comprehensive guide to being a modern Jew. Kind of like “The Modern Girl’s Guide To Life,” but for Heebs instead. It’s called “Cool Jew,” and it’s a reminder of how important it is for us to be proud of our heritage.

By the way, did I mention that Michal was running around in a wedding dress? :)

Until next time,
JGirl

Hey Everyone!

Hope you had a great weekend! It was great seeing those of you who made it to the Simply Shabbat event.

Our Blog-correspondent, Jgirl, gives a positive spin on a sad month:


Rosh Chodesh: Dark Chocolate - Making the Bitter Moments Sweet

So I went to a girly night on Saturday. No boys. Ha! It was fab! The theme was "Dark Chocolate," or sharing bitter stories that have turned out to be sweet. There were about 20 of us, and each woman shared a personal story about making something terrible (“bitter”) into something good and sweet.

I know, it sounds so trite and generic, but each woman had an incredible story. Without divulging identities, I was somewhat disheartened to realize that even in our community (as in every community), the list was long: broken hearts, broken engagements, broken marriages, broken marriages involving children, and broken dreams. Health problems, life problems, job problems, you name it. It’s rough out there, people, and we’ve got to grapple with it – every day.

However, each door that closes yields something better: another door opens (pardon the cliché). Each woman’s story had that commonality to it.

Terrible things, however dire, ultimately became blessings, because each woman was forced to plow forward and move on. Each woman was open and ready for the next big thing that presented itself after the bad stuff -- which in every case became beauty, happiness and enlightenment.

Take, for example, the story of the woman who was engaged at 37 and then dumped (on the phone, not even in person) a month before her wedding. She thought her life was over, and at 37 essentially, it was, right? Wrong.

The woman thought about moving to New York and giving herself three months to find a positive dating situation. If nothing happened in that period, she would move on and so be it. A day later, she called an old friend who was panicking because she needed a nanny for (guess how long) three months on the Upper West Side. She moved to NYC for three months, and it was there that she met her husband.

Listening to her made me want to find the guy that dumped her (over the phone – OMG!) and personally thank him for being the impetus behind her life turning out so nicely. In her darkest moment, this woman decided to leave things to the universe and “let go” a little – letting the proverbial chips fall where they were going to fall.

What’s my point? Give yourself over a little bit. Be open, and allow for some "lack of control." Why? Because if you think about it, the more you close yourself off, (and harp on negativity and suffering) the more you’re going to suffer. On the Jewish tip, it seems like a good way to go. With the universe and Hashem as your guide you can surprise yourself with the kind of clarity you’ll find if you just relax a bit and let it go. Things will fall into place.

At the end of the night, one girl tied it all together with a great anecdotal story: She hates rides. At a water park one day she decided to face her fear, and found herself going what felt like 40 miles per hour in a pitch black, dark, windy tunnel. On a water slide (Oy!).

She was told to keep her arms crossed over her chest (closed) for safety purposes. Instead, she decided to loosen up while in the middle of it and uncrossed her arms. While winding around in a dark tunnel, terrified and going fast, she relaxed and opened herself up to whatever might come - and as a result found something -- a little bit of joy. That’s kind of analogous to life in general, isn’t it?

So I’ll leave you with that: In life, you get back exactly what you put out. If you ask for the glass half-empty, then that’s what you’ll get in return, folks. The universe will give you exactly what you ask for. So stay open and don’t try to be so such a control freak. :)

Until next time,

JGirl

Hey all!

Here is the latest entry from our Blog-correspondent, Jgirl:


Monday. I barely made it. I needed a little relaxation, a glass of wine, and perhaps some inspiration. I was pooped, but glad I decided to hang at the Biz/networking event last night.

Here’s how it works: young people show up, wear nametags (including occupation), and drop business cards at the front. There were at least 45 people!

Saw some friends I hadn't seen in awhile (yay), and I couldn’t help but notice at least two or three handsome guys walking around. Plenty of ladies as well – and just some seriously pretty people. Fun!

Unexpectedly, I grabbed a card/met someone from a company that I have been dying to interview at for the past year. How awesome is that? I was getting a little inspired at this point…and the guest speaker, Joan, hadn’t even started.

Joan Hyler (Hyler Management), super agent, has climbed the ranks of Hollywood – and has remained there – for several years. She started out as an assistant at International Creative Management (ICM) when there were few, if any, influential women in the industry. Joan grew quickly and as a young woman represented Andy Warhol, Madonna, Meryl Streep, Bob Dylan and Peter O' Toole. OMG! Today she remains competitive, repping major up-and-comers like Amber Tamblyn and Zac Efron.

When I wasn't darting my eyes around the room looking at that cute financial analyst in the corner, Joan had some pretty meaningful stuff to say, namely, that what’s important for young Jewish Angelinos in today’s sensory-overloaded lifestyle is to “Stay conscious.”

“Stay focused.” “Don’t get lost,” she said.

I know what you’re thinking: How? Well, I guess, if the answer were that easy, we’d all be just like Joan. She didn’t say, “Immediately throw yourself into Torah study,” but what she did say was this: try and find a spiritual center-of-gravity that Judaism can provide. I can dig that, and I personally loved the fact that people I met yesterday wanted a sincere connection with other (did I mention young and attractive?) Jews.

Sigh. While all this amazing stuff was happening, I was trying to stay focused and “conscious,” I really was, but again, there was a really CUTE financial advisor in the corner – and I swear he noticed me and smiled!! I met these really cute T-shirt designers too. And then I shook hands with this cute lawyer..and…Oh, how I wished I could physically be in more than one space at the same time, but alas, I could not.

That’s what the next JConnect event is for.

Until Next Time,

JGirl
jgirljconnect@gmail.com
********************************************************

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to let you know that we are starting a brand new Blog! After each event we will be posting a recap- and we'd like YOUR feedback! Good, bad or indifferent (though hopefully good!!)!

Happy Blogging!!
Jconnect LA