JconnectLA：《 JGirk's Rosh Hashanah Recap 》
JGirk's Rosh Hashanah Recap
Couldn't make it to Jconnect's Rosh Hashana Services this year? No problem, JGirl's got her account of the events below. Check it out!
I’m kind of one of those “once-a-year” Jews. I know that sounds really bad, but A: I know I’m not alone, and B: I attend a lot of Jewish events and parties – and I go to Shabbat every so often. I’m just not huge on services.
I figured it would be another ho-hum year at services for Rosh Hashanah and I wasn’t really in the mood for it. There’s been a lot of clutter in my head lately and I found it hard to concentrate.
The Rabbi mentioned that we didn’t have to follow the prayer book to a “t,” and it was okay to sort of fall behind into one’s own meaningful prayer zone, so I started reading the Rosh Hashanah supplement. What I found were 14 questions that I was incapable of answering. These weren’t totally complex questions. They were the kind of “simple” ones that people normally glaze over and don’t really want to think about, because they’re difficult, soul-searching questions.
Stuff like, “When do I feel that my life is most meaningful?” And, “What would bring me more happiness than anything in the world?” (Um, I don’t know. I’m a single girl living in Los Angeles and I’m starting to get tired of the rat-race.) See? Tough to answer. It’s tough and frightening to dig that deeply and really think about if or when I feel fulfilled, because right now the truth is that I am unfulfilled.
Is Judaism going to be the answer for me? In many ways, yes it will, but not in an obvious “must-go-to-services” kind of way. For me it is going to have to be a little more practical. Is this a little lazy of me? Maybe. I love Judaism, but I am looking for a middle ground right now.
I started reading some more of the questions. “What is the most important decision I need to make this year”? (I….don’t….know!)
“If I knew I could not fail, what would I undertake in my life?”
“If I could change one thing about my spiritual life, what would that be?”
Aha! I had to pause for a deep breath and a thought on this one.
I started listening to what was around me. I heard beautiful melodies; I heard men and women singing together. I heard some children playing outside. I got out of my own head for a bit and really just allowed myself to focus and feel the community around me. On a really simple level, I just sat there and breathed, thanking G-d that I’m a part of this – and I felt less alone.
What does this all mean? What do all these questions and goals mean to me? I’m not sure, but something obviously happened when I engaged in a little bit of prayer around so many others. Regardless of what I believe in or don’t believe in, the experience of community and the knowledge that around the world, thousands of Jews were literally right there with me in prayer - is what mattered to me in that moment.
That’s enough to make me want to stick around a little and learn some more about my own spirituality (whatever that may end up being) – and about Judaism. Even for people like me (once-a-year-Jews), Judaism has so many layers and so much beauty.
It’s abundantly clear that I have a lot of introspective work to do. There will be some questions I’ll need to try and answer over next several days but for now, I’m just going to enjoy the community and let it be uncomplicated.
More to come after Yom Kippur.
L’Shana Tova,
JGirl
I’m kind of one of those “once-a-year” Jews. I know that sounds really bad, but A: I know I’m not alone, and B: I attend a lot of Jewish events and parties – and I go to Shabbat every so often. I’m just not huge on services.
I figured it would be another ho-hum year at services for Rosh Hashanah and I wasn’t really in the mood for it. There’s been a lot of clutter in my head lately and I found it hard to concentrate.
The Rabbi mentioned that we didn’t have to follow the prayer book to a “t,” and it was okay to sort of fall behind into one’s own meaningful prayer zone, so I started reading the Rosh Hashanah supplement. What I found were 14 questions that I was incapable of answering. These weren’t totally complex questions. They were the kind of “simple” ones that people normally glaze over and don’t really want to think about, because they’re difficult, soul-searching questions.
Stuff like, “When do I feel that my life is most meaningful?” And, “What would bring me more happiness than anything in the world?” (Um, I don’t know. I’m a single girl living in Los Angeles and I’m starting to get tired of the rat-race.) See? Tough to answer. It’s tough and frightening to dig that deeply and really think about if or when I feel fulfilled, because right now the truth is that I am unfulfilled.
Is Judaism going to be the answer for me? In many ways, yes it will, but not in an obvious “must-go-to-services” kind of way. For me it is going to have to be a little more practical. Is this a little lazy of me? Maybe. I love Judaism, but I am looking for a middle ground right now.
I started reading some more of the questions. “What is the most important decision I need to make this year”? (I….don’t….know!)
“If I knew I could not fail, what would I undertake in my life?”
“If I could change one thing about my spiritual life, what would that be?”
Aha! I had to pause for a deep breath and a thought on this one.
I started listening to what was around me. I heard beautiful melodies; I heard men and women singing together. I heard some children playing outside. I got out of my own head for a bit and really just allowed myself to focus and feel the community around me. On a really simple level, I just sat there and breathed, thanking G-d that I’m a part of this – and I felt less alone.
What does this all mean? What do all these questions and goals mean to me? I’m not sure, but something obviously happened when I engaged in a little bit of prayer around so many others. Regardless of what I believe in or don’t believe in, the experience of community and the knowledge that around the world, thousands of Jews were literally right there with me in prayer - is what mattered to me in that moment.
That’s enough to make me want to stick around a little and learn some more about my own spirituality (whatever that may end up being) – and about Judaism. Even for people like me (once-a-year-Jews), Judaism has so many layers and so much beauty.
It’s abundantly clear that I have a lot of introspective work to do. There will be some questions I’ll need to try and answer over next several days but for now, I’m just going to enjoy the community and let it be uncomplicated.
More to come after Yom Kippur.
L’Shana Tova,
JGirl
